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Most of you know that my family is from East India. I’ve written before about how this aspect of my life tends to creep into so many facets of my everyday comings and goings. Today I was thinking of one that I am noticing more and more. As I work with different ministries that are focused on second generation(second gen)  Americans (ppl whose parents immigrated from a diff country) it is becoming increasingly  evident how we reflect the attitudes and characteristics of our parents’ generation, whether good or bad.

It’s not a secret that many second gen Americans have grown up complaining about the behavior of their elders when it comes to leading the church. We have spent years disagreeing with policies and practices. We have called our elders self-righteous, self-seeking, politicians, hypocrites, and irrelevant.  However, I charge that today I see so many second gen Americans falling into the same traps that they have complained about for years.

I see young people fighting for position and using their influence to advance their own agenda. I see young people who are ready to throw their brothers and sisters under the bus if that means it will get them closer to their end goal. I see young people fighting to be on stage instead of longing to serve God’s people. This certainly doesn’t apply to everyone, just like it didn’t apply to everyone in our parents’ generation, but sometimes it may be the very people with the greatest influence and potential.

I was having dinner with my friend, this weekend and he shared this with me. If you have 15 Indian churches in your city, and one day they all merged into one(which has long been our dream), would 14 worship leaders and youth directors quietly step down and take on roles that were unseen and unnoticed by the rest of this massive congregation in the name of God’s kingdom? I can’t even say with confidence that I would be that mature! But I’ve always thought things would be better with me in charge. It doesn’t really seem things would be that different after all.

We are so quick to point fingers when it comes to ministry that we often miss opportunities to grow and learn. How often have we sat in a group and complained about the current system without ever taking responsibility and taking the lead to say that I am going to be the change. I’m going to be different. I’m going to put others first.  I’m going to address the common good before I take care of what’s good for me. I’m going to put His kingdom before my kingdom.

I believe this generation can be a catalyst for change, and even though some call me overly optimistic I still hold strong to that belief. Go! Make it happen!

This week I’m going through my top posts of 2009. This post was first published on Sept 22.

What in the world does coconut generation mean?  It’s a phrase that stems from the gradual Americanization of people of South Asian descent.  At least that’s one way to put it.  Basically, a coconut is brown on the outside and white on the inside. You get the connection. Sam George even wrote a book called “Understanding the Coconut Generation: Ministry to the Americanized Asian Indians.” (Thanks to my friend Nate Mathai for this info.)

My family is from a state in Southern India called Kerala.  There is a fairly large concentration of people from this region  of India that live in my neck of the woods.  Over the past 30 years a community has sprung up around this demographic.  There is a group of brilliant and successful young people who possess a great deal of talent and influence in this community.

There is a great disconnect for these young people, because even though they have strong ties to their Indian traditions through their parents, they have been brought up in western culture.  This provides a tension in school, in work, and even within the church.

One finds that the way in which they do many things is subconsciously effected by their cultural upbringing.  It is critical that we never forget our past and where we come from, but we must not allow this to hinder our advancement.

I believe there are opportunities to move forward and respectfully adapt to the social impartiality that western society is more willing to accept.  The roles of women and young people must be scrutinized and approached objectively, taking into account ones merit, work-ethic, and ability instead of gender and age.

This concept doesn’t only apply to Indians.  Many of us have been guilty of allowing conventional ideas to drive our beliefs and decisions.  Many of us have been disregarded due to others’ preconceived notions.  I believe change can start with us.

To those who have been written off  Philippians 4:13 says, “I can do everything through Him who gives me strength .”  Don’t let others tell you what you cannot do.  To those who find it so hard to unlearn years of cultural and social practice I urge you to reflect on these words of Jesus, “ For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted” Luke 14:11.

I had several phone calls yesterday from friends who are facing great hardships in their lives. It is always extremely frustrating to sit on the sidelines with that feeling that you just can’t do anything. In every conversation it pained me most to see that my friends felt that they really couldn’t talk to anyone about what was going on.

This may still be one of the aspects of Indian culture which plagues young people the most today. So much is based on people’s perception of you that it is often difficult to be open and transparent when facing struggles in life. We have been trained to control our emotions to the point that we often stifle them. The problem is that human beings are emotional creatures, and there are deeper implications to the situations and hardships we face in life. We can’t simply deal with the immediate situation. We must deal with the deeper and long lasting effects of that situation. This is where we find true healing and closure, but this can’t come from bottling up our pain and ignoring our experience.

It is crucial to find people you trust who are willing to walk through the pain with you in search of God’s direction and purpose. For those of you who are in leadership in Indian churches, it is crucial that you be these trusted leaders. Transparency leads to transparency. I’ve heard many leaders complain that people won’t open up to them, and the first thing I notice is that these leaders have painted themselves as spiritual giants of perfection. Mark 10:43-44 says that if you want to be great you must first be a servant. Be the leader who will get low and provide a shoulder for hurting people to stand on as you lift them up.Share your struggles and the tough time God has brought you through. Don’t rob God of His glory by pretending your life is perfect and He has never done anything for you.

For those of you who are facing tough circumstances now don’t endure your pain alone. There are trusted friends and leaders in your court who love you and care for you too much to be affected by perception. It breaks my heart to hear of people whose lives are falling apart, but they are forced to pretend everything is fine because their culture demands it. Don’t endure your pain alone.

Joshua 4:1-7 is a passage we are all familiar with.  If not take a moment to look it over.

Joshua is commanded to have the leaders of the tribes of Israel set up stones on the shore as a memorial of what God has done. When their children ask what do these stones mean they are to tell them what God did on that day.

I was constantly reminded as a child just how good we had it. Every night when we sat down to pray as a family my mom and dad would share stories of their childhood and how far God had brought them.  Those stories were the stones in my house, and every time we asked why are you making us listen to this again (What do these stones mean) my dad told us about what God had done.

I have a friend who goes through family pictures weekly with his kids.  Those are his stones. He tells them about his grandparents and great grandparents. He tells them about coming to America and learning the language and culture. He is the CFO of a large hospital in the Midwest now, and he always tells me they (his kids) have to know what God has done.

I have a friend that grew up in the inner city of Oklahoma City. He was the smartest, hardest working guy I met in college. He is a medical resident in Houston, TX today, and he serves local schools with his wife and 5yr old boy in the most dangerous areas of Houston. Those are his stones, and one day when his son asks, “Dad, why do we come to this neighborhood? (What do these stones mean?) He will tell him about what God has done.

What stones have you set up as a memorial for what God has done in your life? How will you share the greatness of God with your children?

This was a comment a friend left on my post titled ‘Change’ a few weeks ago.

“Let me begin by apologizing for my pessimism.  You made the statement. . .  “Many Indian churches have stopped giving birth to new ideas and methods, and placed their focus on preservation and survival.  If you’re not giving birth to something new there can be no cycle of growth, and if you’re content to simply survive the world will pass by you.  In this case the world represents an entire generation that seeks something new.  Not a new message but a new method.”

I’ve hoped, even prayed that there was a world/generation that was seeking something new among Indian congregations in America.  However, I’m either blind or terribly wrong.  I don’t know that I can see a whole generation that’s seeking something new.  I see a limited number of individuals who are tired of the same old thing, but for the most part, it seems as if generation 2 is taking after the behaviors of generation 1.  They seem content with where they are.”

Obviously, my friend is smarter than I am. Thanks for commenting on my naive assumptions. I have to admit I see the value in this statement, and we are on the same page in one way…change must occur.  Where my friend disagrees with me is that the next generation of Indians in America are ALL desiring change. I must  agree that many are okay with the present state of things.  There have been a few reasons, over the years, it was difficult to convince people to follow me in this process.

There is always the matter of comfort.  Change is very uncomfortable and there are many who would prefer unhappiness or stagnation to discomfort.

Then there is the matter of the Eastern social practices.  In Western culture the actions of one person reflect on that person. (If someone does something he/she looks bad and if they do something good he/she looks good.) In Eastern culture the actions of one person are reflected on a group of people. If someone does something bad he/she, their family, their church, their extended family, their circle of friends ALL look bad.  It almost seems like there is a greater cost in our culture for going against the grain. I have found personally that this has kept me from challenging the norm in the Indian church many times, because I have to think of the impact on my siblings, parents, and extended families. For this reason I think many people of our generation would rather leave things the way they are.

I believe there is an indifferent group in each generation as well.  It may be that failed attempts to modify present systems have lead to indifference by way of frustration.  Or, it may be as simple as they never cared in the first place.

I know how difficult it is to be a catalyst for change in a place where change is sometimes a bad word, but know that God in His sovereignty positions us for dynamic leadership.  Pray in season and out of season, seek the face of God for the sheep you have been given to shepherd.  For those who have become indifferent know this, if you’re doing nothing you have no right to complain.  But if you long to make a difference where you are know that God is with and you need not fear.

In your experience why do some 2nd generation Indians (coconuts) become complacent with the present way of doing things?

I hope you had the chance to check out yesterday’s post, because it was a genuinely amazing experience.  We were able to spend some time and assess what impact these cardboard testimonies had on our staff yesterday during our staff meeting.  The Holy Spirit moves in each person in very distinct ways.  No two people may experience the presence of God in the same way, even if they are standing in one room.

For me, this weekend brought about a deep sense of repentance and rejoicing.  Repentance because I remembered the man I was just over a year ago.  Rejoicing because I know that God is doing a great work in me, transforming me into His image.

I grew up in a church full of imperfect people where imperfect people were not welcome.  I know it sounds crazy, but its very true.  We were taught to hide our sins and shortcomings from everyone and disguise our pain and brokenness as perfect people and perfect families living in a perfect world.  Though we all knew we were faking it a lot of the time, this became our expectation of all people.  I found myself in a place where I judged people who came across my path who struggled with sin or addictions in the past or present.  I didn’t associate with them or even want to know them.

The fact is that the world is not filled with perfect people.  Christians must open their eyes to see the lost and hurting, and open their minds to love and accept them.  There is no one beyond the reach of grace.  There is no sin that cannot be washed white as snow by the blood of  Christ.

“Oh for all the sons and daughters, who are walking in the darkness, You are calling us to lead them back to You.”-Hillsong Tear Down the Walls